i’m not here. Well, I mean, I kinda am …

The more naked women I put in my post, the more hits I get. (Oh, and this is totally NOT the spa I went to. And, for the record, I would never wear a bikini.)

The more naked women I put in my post, the more hits I get. (Oh, and this is totally NOT the spa I went to. And, for the record, I would never wear a bikini, especially not one with no straps.)

Heya you all! <3 <3 <3

[And, in particular, Grainne. This post started out as a response to a comment of hers. Mind you, it did take me like four months -- actually more, too lazy to count -- to respond. Oopsies.]

So … many people have been asking,

Question: “How is Emily doing?” Answer: “Not dead.”

I mean, not that I expect anyone to actually know that since:

  1. I never actually leave the apartment (except for a reason mentioned below), and
  2. a month or two ago I “lost” my cellphone and have yet to replace it because that would involve leaving the apartment

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Know Thy Warning Signs!

Emily the “Writer”

Hetaera, 1906. Franciszek Żmurko (1859-1910). ...

“Hetaera,” 1906. Franciszek Żmurko. Did I say “writer”? Oh, sorry, I meant “prostitute.”

This is an article I wrote for Mind UK quite a while ago. (They’d asked me (?!) to write something for them after they’d read that post about “Tortured Artists.”)

The following article is too long for them to publish, and they have suggested I work with them to create a shorter, edited (!) post for their blog.

However, it did take them like A MONTH to get back to me. And you know how impatient I am. Do you want to read the bitchy letter I sent them after that month? Of course you do!

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Lists, oh, lists …

If You Were Shipwrecked on a Deserted Island …

See that naked guy in the bottom left holding a list? That could be you!

See that naked guy in the bottom left holding a list? That could be you! Which one will you choose???

Okay. I found two lists on Brain Pickings. Can’t decide which one I like better.

Oh, and the painting on the left was done by Johann Christian Klengel (1741-1824).

I tried to look for something a little more cheery like the Deserted Island Cupcakes … Actually, wait. Maybe I’ll put that one in too. Scroll down.

I. The Cult of Done Manifesto

by

Guidelines to get you from Point A to finished product, The Cult of Done Manifesto was written by tech guru Bre Pettis (of MakerBot fame) in collaboration with writer Kio Stark in 20 minutes, “because we only had 20 minutes to get it done.” Following that same parameter, their manifesto consists of 20 truisms borrowed from hacker culture. To wit, number four on the list:

“Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it.”

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“Musings” on Poetry

Okay guys. Those of you who know me…

Know that “I hate poetry.” Or so I say.

"St. Columba - Patron Saint of Poets, Bookbinders, and Floods" (image credit: VeganSoldier)

“St. Columba” (image credit: VeganSoldier) – Patron Saint of Poets, Bookbinders … and Floods?

This is, however,  My Deepest, Darkest Secret:

I actually believe that poetry is the purest of all art mediums; it is able to best convey the strongest emotion and/or intellectual expression of the artist and best transmit them to the listener or reader.

(Mind you, my taste in poetry lies mainly within the Metaphysical poets → the Modernists: I am definitely not cool enough to enjoy most Contemporary and Experimental “poetry.”)

However, I maintain that poetry is

THE HANDS-DOWN, SINGLE MOST MALICIOUSLY MALIGNED MEDIUM. PERIOD.

I used to go to poetry readings, and then I discovered they increased my propensity to attempt suicide. Thus, “I hate poetry.”

A Pleasant Surprise

So, it came as such a pleasant surprise to stumble into the blog Stranger-with-Stories and find this:

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Apathy & Revelation

Virginia Woolf, The Waves (1931)

Roger_Fry_-_Virginia_Woolf

Roger Fry, “Portrait of Virginia Woolf,” circa 1917

“The truth is that I am not one of those who find their satisfaction in one person, or in infinity. The private room bores me, also the sky. My being only glitters when all its facets are exposed to many people. Let them fail and I am full of holes, dwindling like burnt paper …

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I’m still here … kind of

Hey Everyone,

Little cushion, a love token made by a sailor; England, about 1900.

Little cushion, a love token made by a sailor; England, about 1900.

this is just to let you know that I am still here, and I do plan on returning to writing posts again (probably in a month or so).

I’m actually doing quite well, although busy.

I miss you guys and Tamagotch Bowie, and I can’t wait to get back into blogging.

I still check my comments and email on a daily basis, so I’m available and would love to hear from you!

Question:

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Guest Post: Nicole — “I Don’t Have Depression”

Today—at 8:11 AM—I received the most wonderful present in my Facebook messages: A Guest Post! For Tamagotch Bowie! That I didn’t have to write! (Or threaten, or bribe, or blackmail someone to write!) PS: Nicole is obviously not gauche enough to promote her own artwork; these are just some of my favorites that I thought you guys might like.

My Angel Nicole — Guest Post: “I Don’t Have Depression”

Multi colour


“Multi Object Multi Color Multi Day,” by Nicole Little, © All Rights Reserved

Emily didn’t ask me to write this. I’m not that friend. I’m the other friend. The friend who likes her mom and dad and sister, and remembers that time her cat ran away … I ran after her cat, in fact, but I wasn’t the reason it ran away. Or maybe I was. How do you remember it, Emily? Do you change your name for this thing? Am I calling you Monica right now, or some other not-your-real-name-name? Mmm … hyphens.

Anyway, I thought I’d write this guest spot to let Emily know that I’ve been keeping up with her blog, which I like a lot, and to feel published, and to brag about my sex life. And I flatter myself that those are the only reasons and correctly ordered.

*wink* Nicole

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